Getting back in the groove

	1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Neither actually, I prefer eye contact. Its one of the best ways to read someone. 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? I was angry because Sam was breaking up with me. Nope, I am not angry about that any longer. 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? Without a doubt I would call my mom and tell her how much I love her and how I am so grateful for everything she has done and given up to give me the best life possible. 4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I would probably tell the people closest me to but maybe not right away. I would travel as much as possible and spend time with the people I love. I am sure I would be scared to some extent, anyone would. But I think when faced with your own mortality you can find peace. Especially if you have time to make things right. 5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust. It is impossible to have one without the other. If you think otherwise you are fooling yourself. 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog’s life? Why or Why not? Without a doubt I am saving the dog. I think we have a responsibility to help other living beings plus, if I really get fired for that then that isn't a place I want to work. 7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? Generally speaking this is the same person... 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? Depends on which of my best friends is saying that haha 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? In a heartbeat! Michael and Danielle miss their mom and I know it would mean the world have another 5 minutes let alone an hour. I wouldn't hesitate to be able to give them a gift like that. 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? In most aspects, yes 11. Does love = sex? Just the term 'love' is to general to make a connection like this. There are all types of love. 12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? Yes I would offer myself leaving to let my coworker stay. I don't have a family to support and would much prefer others be okay before myself. 13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? Michael and I have talks sometimes where we both (or I think so anyway) say how we honestly feel about things. Jake and I have conversations like this as well. In both instances we just talk about life in general. 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? It is always more difficult to tell someone that you do not love them back. Well, for me it is anyway. I always feel like I am taking something so fragile and just smashing it to a million pieces. 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? Thing as in possession...probably my phone. It keeps me in touch with so many people, it allows me to listen to music, to read books, and to explore the world around me. 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? I tell my family all the time. 17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? I wouldn't have been such a jerk to the wrong people this weekend. I hurt other people's feelings. 18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? Why would you not try to save a life?  19. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? I always hate this question. Most people think you should save the newborn because they have their whole life ahead of them and the grandmother has already had her chance. But no one thinks maybe that grandmother is the only person someone else has and letting her go could crush the life of someone else. I do not like playing God. I would ask my grandmother what she honestly wanted or I would let them both go. 20. Are you old fashioned? In a new age kind of way... 21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? Every damn day 22. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? Fuck this question! 23. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?  Ideally I would like everyone in my life to be happy. Whatever that may mean for them personally.

Time for a comeback?

So much has changed from this time last year and with me still being so far away from all of my friends I have been thinking about making this blog my place to vent. Hrmm. Does anyone still follow me here? I guess that will be part of my decision. Or maybe I will make a more private blog. Who knows...who knows

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

So I heard this on the radio on the way home tonight and I thought I would pass it along to all of you!

A lot of these are like "well duh" but I believe if we truly take a look at our lives we can see opportunities to grow as a person. I hope you all enjoy and leave a message if you think of anything else!

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

I love going to the gym. I have been going all week and not going tonight feels kind of weird. I know I need to rest a while but I am past the point of being sore and tired. I feel much better having a way to channel my energy. And most importantly I am creating a better, healthier lifestyle. Of course I do care about losing weight but I care more about developing my body. I think next week I am going to push myself on my cardio. That is my weakest point right now so I am setting a goal for next week and try and set a new goal each week. I will let you know how it goes!

So my friend Brandon is moving to Charlotte this week. I hope he likes it here. It will be good to have another friend around and I am excited to meet his boyfriend. Him moving here has had me thinking about where I actually want to move. I don't hate it here but I don't really like it either. There isn't much to do unless you like to party and I don't. Any everything closes way too damn early! I guess I need to explore more of what is around or travel move to find the place where I really want to be. But I have time and that's all I need right now.

Thanks for listening (or reading rather) my ramblings.

UPDATES AND SUCH

Again, I'm sorry I suck at updating.

Any who, I am back on the sales floor at work. It sucks but my sales are actually going pretty well. I hope I didn't just jinx myself! But with my sales up I am hoping I can get a bonus b/c Sam and I have decided to get her a newer car and extra money we have is going to that. I have decided that she should have one of the new beetles so I can't wait :)

Sam and I have also joined a gym recently. We had been trying to find a place for a while but no where we looked at all that we wanted. But we went to find out about planet fitness and pretty much fell in love! It is so awesome! We went twice last week and so far have gone three times this week. I can feel myself getting stronger and I love it. I still have a way to go with my cardio but my strength has definitely come a long way in the short time we have been doing. We have also had a couple others sign up to because it is such an awesome place and its cheap!

Again I am going to try and keep up with this blog. I enjoy blogging but its hard to think about what to write about sometimes and I feel like I haven't had time to be at home much let alone blog but my awesome cousin Michael just started a blog as well so maybe we can keep each other going. You should also check out his blog and show some support and love because he is great! Here is his link: http://tawmas-randomthoughts.blogspot.com/

And now its time to take over SIMS 3 from Sam =)

I know I know

I truly suck at updating but oh well. What are you going to do?

Anyway, I am heading into my fourth day of my eight day marathon at work. I haven't had too many hiccups yet. There have been updates going on to the phones so things at work have been ridiculous. But after tomorrow I will be half way down! Yay! But my last four days are ten hour days. I have not worked a ten hour day in a LONG time! I am hoping they will pass by faster. Plus I will be working the early shift so I will be able to see more of my friends from class.

This is a puny post I know but I am sleepy a heading to bed.

Goodnight all!

You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you

Why is it so hard to be the bigger person? Or better yet, why do I care what some people think? I am still waiting for the day that I will be able to focus primarily on what I want and realize what I have going for me and not let the fact that I do not live up to someone else's standards bother me. But that day seems so far away. Will I ever make it? I am very grateful for my family, generally they do (or use to do) a lot for me. But just like everyone else they have flaws. I can't wait for them to realize this. Or maybe I am the problem. Just because I did not finish school am I really that much of a loser? I know they may not think that but that is what they project on to me. I hate that I cannot have a conversation without bickering or without the dreaded "well if you would stop messing around and go back to school..." I don't think they realize that I want to go back to school more than they want me to go back to school but it is just not possible right now. Plus, not to be mean, but honestly right now I have more going for me and make more money that my friends who have gone to school. So is it so bad that I didn't go the route that society has place in front of everyone? Especially with the economy being the way it is now I keep hearing that experience trumps schooling and doing college and beyond is honestly a waste of money. So what is so bad about keeping my full time, way above minimum wage job and saving money until it is a better time for me to go back to school? I just want to be able to please them without compromising what I want. Maybe one day...

On the bright side I am now the proud owner of a Volvo :)